Phoenix226

I just wanna say that if there is some greater power, the idea of dating and crushes and all that nonsense was a waste of time. It should not be this hard to figure out...love, I guess.

If One likes a guy (One is a girl, by the way), she should not have to go to extreme measures to find out if he is single or even if he likes One back. Not everyone is as cavalier as they are in the movies. We can't all run up to guys asking if they are single and then end up "dating" them before the night is over. And with high school, if you go out on one date, you are "dating". How stupid is that? One should be allowed to go on several dates before deciding if she wants to go out with one guy for a longer period of time.

So, anyway, frustrating topic.

I am a true believer that a girl (or boy) should be comfortable with their body no matter what. People shouldn't starve themselves or make themselves throw up to become the person they wish to be. A little while ago, JK Rowling put out a small peice of writing on how being thin is not the greatest thing in the world. It's not as important as world hunger or political awareness or even just an educaion. Girls should aspire to become world leaders, teachers, or doctors. Models with skinny legs and unrealistic ideology for small girls to aspire to litter the pages of magazines.

On the other hand, I am angered by people's position against naturally skinny girls. I am 17 years old but barely over 105 pounds. Some people say that I am too skinny, some just hate me for it, and even more don't even notice. But when they do, it's a problem. I do not look underweight and I am healthy. However, people say how I just shouldn't be that skinny. They give me the "how dare you" looks and seem to be annoyed with my body type. I can't help it. I am naturally skinny. Yes, I do exercise but not in extravagant amounts and I definately don't eat healthy. My point in all of this is that it is important for people to be comfortable with their bodies but it is also important for other people to respect everyone else as well as their body types, even if it is that they are skinny. If something is dangerous, by all means do what ever you can to change that. People should not be unhealthily underweight but the population should not insult others because of their naturally skinny body type.

Paint these walls in crimson red,
Wallow in my tears.
Beneath the shadows in your stead,
Are where i spend those years.
Eyes are wide but still don't see,
As long as you aren't here.
Feet may walk for miles free,
Time lost with minds unclear.
Years of time I spend alone,
While loved ones shoulder weight.
Minds of innocence are gone,
As bullets shatter fate.

The last two days I have been sick. I've had the flu or something similar to it, I'll spare the details. I missed the two days of school, a bunch of homework, and at least one test. High school isn't treating me well, or perhaps I'm just not the kind of person to smile every single day as I walk through the doors to meet it. My friends are finding their own things, which is expected, but I can't seem to find mine. The days or nights I dwell upon these kind of things always puts me in a mood that is hard to shake for days at a time.

What's strange is that tonight, I've had all day to dwell, and I have dwelled, yet I am in a mood of contentness that only the sound of music can bring. The thing I write about tonight, after this day of dwelling, is that nothing is too great, no problem to monsterous, to listen to some music and let it wash away. Nothing will go away completely but music can erase the stress from your shoulders at least for one night. It's truly magical.

Life surprises me and I'm not even that far into it. Emotions and head-spinning events are throwing me for a loop. I guess i can't complain too much for there are worse cases but simplicity would be openly welcome right now.